Its been almost two months since what happened with me and Mishari. I didn't leave the house at all, just for school. I'm not in the mood for anything or anyone. I tried to comunicate with Mishari bas 3ashan asafel feeh w abared 7arety but I didn't find any way! he blocked me from everything. I spent this past month crying myself to sleep! and it hurts! everytime I remember what he did to me I cry my heart out. How can he be so heartless! what did I ever do to him! Its sick how guys think they can play around with a girls heart like its some kind of toy and throw it away when they're done with it. Its sick how they think ena they become men lama yet7achon ba3ra'6 elnas w yet7achon belbanat! elrejoola ma tingaas b3adad elbanat ely yil3ebon feehom w ygi9on 3alaihom! Dear guys what if someone did that to your sister? Sheno betkoon radat fe3lek? next time before you play on any girl, 7e6 nafsek bmokan ekhoha.
-
Fay came over and tried to convince me to go out.
Fay: "Ghazoolaa emshay ne6laa3 yallah"
Ghizlan: "maby mali khilg fayoon!"
Fay: "9arlech fog elshahar mo ra'6ya te6le3een! khala9 3ad laymita bta7kireen nafsich bsibat hal khara! goomay yallah!!"
Ghizlan: "eff etha 6ala3t wyach twagfeen 7annah!"
Fay: "eeee!"
Ghizlan: "okay"
I got up took a shower and fay straightened and waved my hair and applied some make up because my face was pale and puffy due to all the crying I did. I wore a white dress with my brown Hermes belt and sandals.
We picked Raghad up and went to AlHamra tower. We decided to eat dinner at Chocolate Bar so we reserved a table, sat and ordered.
Raghad: "waaay ghazool walaht 3alaich w 3ala khbalich!"
I smiled and thanked her. As you can see I'm not in the mood for anything.
My pink pasta arrived and I started eating. I heard a familliar voice from the table infront of us. He was laughing and jocking and having fun... unlike me. I kept staring at him untill tears started streaming down my cheeks. Yup you guessed it right..It was Mishari
Fay: "ghizlan shfeech?" She looked at what I was looking at. Her mouth formed an 'O' shape. I quickly got up and walked quickly towards the bathroom. When I passed his table I felt his eyes staring at me. When I reached the bathroom I started crying really hard. My make up got ruined I looked like a mess, people who come inside the bathroom stare at me in shocked expressions. Fay and Raghad tried to calm me down.
Ghizlan: "Getlokom this was a bad idea! ma kan mafroo'6 a6la3!"
Fay: "Khaywaly! kaho yi'67ak w mistanis wentay tabcheen w 7altich 7allah!"
Ghizlan: "eli shifta menah mo shwaya!"
Fay: "Adry ya 7abeebty bas chithi bitwarena ena athar 3alaich w gedar yijri7ich! ka sheftee shlon yi'67ak w mestanis wala chena 9ayer shay! mo 7taraytay!?"
I nodded.
Raghad: "3ayal yallah fix ur make up w khanred elma63am w '67kay w stansay wala china hamich"
Ghizlan: "*sigh* okay"
They calmed me down and fay fixed my make up and re-applied my mascara and lipstick. I walked back to the restaurant with a wide fake smile. I walked towards our table and sat down, his simle fadded as he saw me coming. I ignored him and spent my time laughing and having fun with my girlss! When we finished dinner we walked around for a while then headed back home. I actually had fun! I liked how his smile fadded when he saw me smile.
I changed into my pijama's and opened my laptop I thought of catching up on PLL.
*buzzz*
Jarrah: "Ha did you have fun today?"
Yes I saved his number, he's been checking up on me and trying to cheer me up and help me through these rough times and I really needed someone like him who actually cared about me even though I didn't feel the same way back. I hated him before for what he did with Mishari but now I admire him for what he did! Its a nice feeling knowing that there's always somone that has your back!
Ghizlan: "Ee wayed el7mdillah bas... I saw mishari"
He called me straight away.
*samsung ringtone*
I swiped my hand over the accept button.
Ghizlan: "alu"
Jarrah: "laykon galich shay el7aywan wela '6ayigich!?"
Ghizlan: "Allah blkhair elnas tsalem awal"
Jarrah: "Haha esalam w 3alaikom" He laughed. "goolely sh9ar"
I told him exactly everything in details. Its weird how I trust Jarrah, I thought that after what happened between me and mishari I'll never trust any guy again but Jarrah is diffrent.
Jarrah: "zain sawaytay w 7araytee!"
We continued chatting for an hour then we both fell asleep.
-
I woke up next morning on a saturday, I thought of getting back to horse riding I called my club and rescheduled my lessons.
Omy: "Ghazoola halsbou3 lazem etyeen elshalaih, may9eer 9arlech shkithir mo ray7a kel 3amatich yes2ilon 3anich wayed gha6aitay, w youm elkhamees msaween yam3a fa bnroo7 elshalaih wednesday njahez gheebay elkhamees"
Ghizlan: "Khala9 enshalah yuma"
Omy: "3asa ma 3alaich droos mohema yom elkhamees"
Ghizlan: "la yuma bas moraja3at gabel elemti7anat"
Omy: "ee 3ayal roo7ay shemay hawa nafhay 3an nafsich shway, mo 3ajebny wa'63ech hal cham sboo3 3asa ma shar feech shay 7abeebty?"
Ghizlan: "la yuma bas emti7anat w bashed 7aily"
Omy: "yuuma 3ayartech! bas kaifich bakhaleech 3ala ra7tech meta ma baghaitay tgolenly ana mawjooda"
I smiled and hugged her.
The school week passed, I stopped crying as much as I did before, I cried sometimes but not as much. I finally realised that he doesnt deserve my tears, he never cared so why should I?
On wednesay night we left to the chalet I spent the night on the beach alone none of my cousins were there.
Jarrah: "Ghaazooloooo!!"
Ghizlan: "way3aa, haaa?"
Jarrah: "Golay na3am!"
Ghizlan: "eff:: na3am!?"
Jarrah: "Na3amah tarfisich"
Ghizlan: "Jaroo7 mo wagt mala8tik=)) shtaby?"
Jarrah: "Ana bstarbucks tabeen shay?"
Ghizlan: "Ee, aby Ice White Moca, two shots caramel w one chocolate croissant make it hot please"
Jarrah: "coming right up!"
Ghizlan: "LOOOOL"
I listened to music while I layed on the beach. Abasherik- Aljassmi started playing.
ابشرك قلبي نسى طعم الألم
نموت لاكن ما تموت الكرامه
ابشرك قلبي نسى طعم الألم
نموت لاكن ما تموت الكرامه
دامك نويت الصد فالوعد قدام
من يومنا حتا تقوم القيامه
يالي تقول في غيبتك حدي ايام و يرد قلبي يشتكي من غرامه
بهديك للهجران عام ورا عام لا عاش راسي لو رجع في كلامه.
parts of this song reminded me of Mishari any love song reminds me of him, tears started escaping my eyes.
*samsung ringtone*
It was Jarrah. I quickly wiped my tears and answered.
Jarrah: "7ajeya ana barrah"
Ghizlan: "Barrah wain?"
Jarrah: "Barrah shalaihkom"
Ghizlan: "maynoon entaa! shitsawy hnee?"
Jarrah: "Yayeb 6alabech"
Ghizlan: "Umbay yalmaynooon!" I burst out laughing. "mo men 9ijik!
Jarrah: "yallah na6rech 6el3eely"
-
I sneaked outside to the front door and saw his car I covered my face with my hoodie and ran towards the car, he opened the window and handed me my order. I thanked him and ran back inside.
I know that Jarrah loves me and by talking to him and getting closer to him bakhaly e7ebny azyad and I dont feel the same way back. What if he gets hurt because of me? I dont want him to feel the pain I felt. He doesnt deserve it! I need to set things straight, were just friends.
*whats app*
Ghizlan: "Jarrah do you still love me?"
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